Their actions toward you do sound rather like shunning. It is unfortunate that this group has their priorities so mixed up. They seem to have wanted you to get the children to conform with producing an expected program, and that they were blinded by that goal, failing to see individuality, choice, and the need for it to be meaningful to the participants. I wish that they had been able to see what really counts (the children feeling the message and feeling valued), and could have found a way to make the program something that the children would want to be a part of. If nobody is feeling it, the spirit can't be there.

I hope that you find another church that does value the children, and you, as individuals, and can see past the desire to keep up appearances. It doesn't have to be like what this has been like for you.