oh my goodness, this thread has been both amazing and very disheartening! I am internally a very touchy, huggy, feely type of person but it is never something that feels allowed to me. I have felt so bad about wishing my therapist would simply touch my shoulder or my knee or my hand and felt it was such a horribly wrong and disgusting thing for me to wish for. Please let me clarify there is nothing inappropriate in my connection or thought toward my therapist, she is a wonderful person and really tries hard but always sits across the room. I have always felt I am not worthy of anybody's compassion at all let alone their touch. I am not one of those people that can't talk very easily especially if the topic is difficult and so many times she will ask me questions and all I can do is think " can't you just scoot over a little closer to me, and maybe it will give me the strength to answer you" but of course I could never say those words so very often I sit mute in much of my sessions. I honestly don't know how she would feel about this subject, but it amazes me to hear how many people have a therapist that has initiated everything from touches to hugs to even holding! Oh my goodness, I cannot even imagine the possibilities for my ability to open up to her if I were able to hide in her strength. I often think about the comfort or safety I might feel if she sat closer or simply held my hands and possibly allow me to say so many things that she cannot understand why I just simply can't answer. I know I have many many issues but to me her holding me and feeling her strength and safety and confort would be better than winning the lottery. But even the thoughts of having the desire feels like it is something so very wrong! and when I sit in her office wishing she would come closer so that I could try to draw on her safety and strength to speak, I feel discust come all over me for wishing it. I hsve no knowledge of ever feeling safe in my life, But oh how I wish it all were possible!

seeing what is so easily approved of and done by many of your therapists, maybe it's not so wrong but just something from my own issues. Before people suggest I bring the topic up, I can't even bring topics up about what I did the day before or what I ate for breakfast, this sure is not something I could ever approach! Don't get me wrong, my therapist is a very wonderful person but wow how different I think our therapy could be if handholding, hugging, and even holding or something that happened. I no she cannot understand sometimes why it seems like I hide so many things, but it is crazy how often this topic you guys are talking about is in my mind when I'm battling to answer something so very difficult. So many times I have thought in my head that if she could just hold my hand I think I could get the words out and land if she were to hold me, I have a feeling a flood of a lifetime might come out; but she has no way of knowing that and I know many therapists don't agree with that philosophy anyway. I know it is all from a missing past that our therapists are not the ones to fill, but I will if only it were possible!

I am so very happy for those of you that crave this physical contact as compassion in your sessions and have a therapist that understands how helpful that is and is able to provide it to you. I hope it has been such an amazing healing process for you!

I would sure love to see a pole done on this topic and what type of touch is done in sessions and how many people wish for it or would be opposed to it. I don't know if it's possible for someone to add a pole to a threading existence, but it would sure be nice to see.

oh, and if anybody be willing to print this entire thread off and slip it under my therapists door so that she could read it and see what other therapists do and how we all feel about it, I would be internally grateful!!!