My mother. But not in the way that others have answered... everything is about her. She never listens when I tell her I'm physically in pain, or depressed, or just need a break, or how far a simple "please" or "thank you" would go. She would turn my death into something all about her. It wouldn't be about how much I was hurting, that suicide was my choice. It would become all about her pain, and who is going to take care of her, do her laundry, clean the kitchen, cook for her, wait on her hand and foot... I refuse to give her that. I refuse to let her take something that she has basically pushed med toward every day of my life and make it her loss. She is causing it, it is not her loss, it is her fault. One person can only out up with so much abuse for so long, before they crack... so yes, right now, I am choosing to stay alive out of spite.

And my friends. They are the ones that would be truly devastated. They are the ones that I don't want to hurt. They are the ones that give me hope that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow will be a little bit better than today.