Nevermind feeling stupid. None of us is born understanding everything. We learn as we live. Be glad you have the capacity to critique the way you interact and look for better options. Critical thinking is a sign of intelligence. Being able to look critically at one's own behavior is a sign of courage. Three things occur to me a explanations of your old way of getting imposed upon. It could be how you were raised. Possibly no one effectively role modeled for you how to not get exploited. Or possibly someone groomed you to allow yourself to be exploited. Maybe a needy parent turned to you for more attention than a child should have to give a parent. Thirdly, you may not realize how different from you some people are in their motivation. You probably would be loath to knowingly impose on others, so you tend to think other people are like you. If they impose, they must not realize it. Surely, they don't mean any harm. Well, lots of people don't have your thought processes. They have their own and will gladly exploit you given half a chance. Sometimes it's a case of, "I've got a problem, and I'ld just love it, if you'ld solve it for me." Some individuals were actually raised to always look for what others can do for them. That may, indeed, be all they're capable of. I know people who were actually taught that the best thing they can hope for in life is that they'll run into others who'll carry their load for them.

So don't belittle yourself, but do apply critical thinking to analyzing your behavior. Critical thinking - which is a sign of intelligence and maturity - does not mean going around criticizing everyone and everything. (That's a different meaning of the word, "criticize.") Applying critical thinking means critiquing the effectiveness or value of something. It means not always taking things at face value, but questioning, especially questioning old assumptions. So do confront yourself . . . not in a punitive way . . . but in using critical thinking. This is how you empower yourself. We start off in life being "programmed" by others. Then, if we mature enough, we look at that programming and find some issues with it. Then we say, "I'm going to re-program myself. I'm going to look at new options for how I can behave." Nothing stupid about that. You were young and tried to be what others wanted you to be, as is normal. Now you are maturing and deciding for yourself how you want to be.

You gave money away because the old programming told you that's what you needed to do to be a good person. Time to reprogram that part of your mind.