Quote:
Originally Posted by YMIHere
How is it that people can see just how bad off you are and still not completely get it?
I'm away from home for the summer. Staying at my sister A's house. Visiting my other sister N's house here and there. N has SEEN first hand how quickly I fall apart. I talk with her all the time. She knows the pain that I am in. My other sister doesn't quite get it. She can't miss that I'm struggling but her understanding of all of it is limited.
My life is a series of bad choices. Surprise surprise. I thought I had a nice situation set up but leave it to me to decide to move in with someone even more damaged so that I am not able to stay there.
My sister has offered to allow me to stay here but I don't like the cold weather and would prefer to be back home. I don't have insurance. I NEED HELP! It's like I feel like unless I was put in a hospital or something people just think I'm handling it and I'm not.
I feel like such a BURDEN to everyone. Then I think about how effed up everyone would feel if I tried to off myself and that feels no better than being a burden.
I'm just exhausted. I need help and there isn't any.
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Your situation sounds somewhat similar to mine. Have you tried applying for Medicaid? Disability? You can also try getting low cost therapy at a community center if you have one nearby. There are resources out there, just not as many as there should be and sometimes can be difficult to take advantage of.
Keep reaching out no matter what. You are worth it
I made some not so great decisions too and I have trouble accepting them. I am also staying with family because I cannot live with my partner. I never feel like anyone truly understands me and my struggles and it is very lonely. Its hard but I know I could be worse off.
I've been without insurance in the past and it was awful. Now I have insurance but can't use it because of the deductible. So I am searching for therapists who do sliding scale. In the mean time, I use an online therapy service because it is much cheaper than in person therapy.
I hope you are able to feel better soon and find the help you need.