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Old Jul 15, 2017, 01:48 PM
smileygal smileygal is offline
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Member Since: May 2017
Location: London UK
Posts: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by UglyDucky View Post
I think when one is going through psychoanalytic psychotherapy (talk therapy), attachment to the T helps the process. I don't look at attachments as good or bad. I saw a commercial on TV a few days ago...can't recall what it was for, but it went like this: (Scene: A beautiful beach with the ocean and blue sky in view) Announcer says, "When we were born, we needed others." (Scene: A busy city street and the face of a lovely young girl of about 15) Announcer says, "Then when we grew up, we were told it was bolder to be alone."

I'm not totally sure that I got everything totally perfect, but it's so close that it made a huge impression on me. We all need others from birth to grave. You are the only one who should decide for you if forming attachments is helpful to you. As ATAT noted, people enter and leave our lives and attachments are formed and sometimes lost. Learning to grieve the losses and celebrate the attachments is just being human. My attachment to my T is sometimes painful (I want all of my T's attention), but the benefit is that I know I can depend on my T to be "there" when I'm hurting or feel alone. (This view is a very big achievement for me...I grew up avoiding relationships - too painful. Believe me, it's better to feel even the pain of loss than feel nothing at all)
Love this...Attachment to my T has helped me in lots of ways already. I am more open and therefore much more able to explore my thoughts and actions more willingly..... I can't say I enjoy most of the feelings that come up with it or the 'knowing' that some day it will have to end but I know the pain that I have felt has already and will continue to result in other positive things for me...

One of the differences between this relationship and others is that often other attachments fizzle out in their own time or else you are not aware of their impending end until they happen so don't not spend so much time ruminating in that thought. For me, it is the knowledge that it will end once payment stops that is hard to take.