Okay I’ll bite… lol. What should I pick up on… ‘God’s word’ coming from all sources. The plants and trees, the winged ones, the four legged and the upright alike. All things carry the energy, aura, reflection, distinction, impression of the Creator’s mark. God’s word in nature, God’s word in art, music, books. God’s word in science, academia, and religion. God’s word in the human experience. God’s word echoing in our hearts as we seek peace, joy, happiness, compassion, wisdom. Not limited to time and place and the page of men.

God exists as an experience one feels emotionally rather than an object one touches physically. – The spiritual, emotional experience of believing in God and resting in the peace that faith brings versus the intellectual experience of searching for evidence, for signs and wonders, for perfection on earth, for world peace and harmony to justify faith and frame a belief system.

I guess I’m not up to much more rambling than that.

This discussion has given me cause to want to explore how faith and a relationship with God helps people recover from mental illness. I know for me I’d be lost to my illness without my beliefs and faith in those beliefs. It’s my only source of calm when I battling in the storm.

If you don’t mind me probing…. what do you think you get out of your belief in God? What is the personal pay off you get from believing in God? How are your behaviours influenced? How is your recovery influenced? How does your belief in God serve your recovery from MI?

I sometimes feel I only have my faith to give me cause to stay alive. Faith I can be the mother my son deserves. Faith I will get well. Faith I will not be homeless or disabled for the rest of my life. Faith my life has purpose. Faith I can recover. My days are more about faith than any evidence I’m getting better.

My illness gets such a hold on me for periods of time that I can’t function much in the real world. One day in the real world costs me 2 days to recover from the anxiety and stress. Most days it is just me and my God passing the time of my life away. Prayer sustains me and meditation maintains me. But behaviours aren’t changing and my thinking is still warped when it comes to real life experiences. I pray my way through every interaction in real life and I talk my way through ever action I take.

I feel stuck sometimes. Faith to comfort me but still too sick to keep up with life let alone pursue any passions. Faith give me cause to try again each day, each week, each month…. But how long before I exhaust my faith. Can my faith be exhausted? I wonder that sometimes. If challenged… what would be my breaking point. What would give me cause to turn away from God? To run our of faith. Can faith be exhausted?

I guess I did do a ramble for ya there NW.

Do you ever think any of those things? How do you cope when you might be too sick to think straight. Is your faith right at hand to keep you from loosing hope? Where does your hope lie?

Don’t answer if you don’t want…. Just talking out load…. Thinking too much. Wondering too much.

Take care….