I'm losing my therapist I've been obsessively attached to for years. It is heartwrenching, but I'm noticing things here and there that I'm glad are going to change.

My obsession with him has permeated every aspect of my life. I think of everything in relation to him, and I feel very weird around things that I perceive as distinctly "his." For example, he likes country music, so every time I hear country music, I think of him and freak out feeling like I shouldn't be listening to it because it's not mine, it's his. Listening to it feels like I'm intruding into his life. This has been so bad that I've walked out of stores I needed stuff from because they were playing country music, and I couldn't handle it.

I just realized that soon I might not have this problem. My daughter was imitating a TV character with a heavy southern drawl, which used to bother me so much I'd tell her to stop. She did it just now, and I started to think about him, but I realized that soon I'll be able to let things like that back into my life without feeling like they belong to him. My life will be easier and more open when I'm no longer seeing it through a lens that lets him color everything I experience. My attachment to him has had such tight control over me for years.

Losing my object of obsession is so incredibly painful, and I am very fearful of developing another, as has happened over and over. But being separated from him will give me my life back, I won't be swimming in a freaky ocean of him all the time. I am going to work very hard on this with my new therapist.