Hello. Welcome to PC. That's a hard call. She is the abusive one and was wrong to put the kids in the middle. It doesn't sound like she's worked out the problem yet in therapy and it might take awhile. The question is can you put up with this behavior while stifling your own needs? After reading your post again, I really think you don't need to go back until she shows substantial change. She has done a lot of damage at your expense. I wish you the best and hope you make a decision that brings you peace.