i've dealt with jealousy issues my whole life... and i don't mean, raging jealousy where i plan to harm someone, i just mean internally, feeling like I'm not good enough and worthless and constantly comparing myself to others.

i grew up with emotional abuse/neglect and a brother who did no wrong. i was always jealous of him. my disabled brother always got special treatment as well and i was the one everyone ignored.

in school i'd have friends who would befriend my other friends and they would go out and do things without me, i hated it.

its only manifested in a BAD state, i am so jealous of everyone in my life in some form.... even my best friend, i can't stand listening to her talk about her other friends and the things they do, because i just assume she likes them better and will end our friendship

i am also realizing in therapy, i am becoming jealous of his other clients... i don't know them but i always assume I'm the annoying one and he likes them better.

how the heck do i deal with this? i am scared to mention it in therapy, i don't want him seeing this side of me or being scared that i am "protective" of him. i would never ever ever harm anyone... i just want these feelings to end, over 30 yrs of this insanity is enough

advice please?