Saying "no" isn't being defensive, it's just having your values & knowing what you want. It comes across LOOKING LIKE defensiveness but it's about being your individual self rather than having your actions & behaviors controlled by society around you.

Yes, I defend my values & won't be pushed into doing something I don't want to or be something I don't want to be. We can respond to that in an abrasive way with an attack at those who are pushing OR we can respond passively & just blow them off, say nothing & just continue doing what we want or we can come back with a kind response saying this is how I FEEL about it....which usually ends up in an argument at best a good discussion so they understand YOU better.