I get it. I'm a writer who doesn't write. I'm an artist who doesn't create. I'm an outdoorsy person who never goes outside. When people ask me what I'm into, I can rattle off a list of things I imagine about myself, but they are just shells of things. I always feel like a fake.

I've been sober two and a half years. I got into a real bad spot with alcohol, and I ended up in rehab. My identity issues were a lot worse when I was drinking. I literally could not do the things I said I did, I was always too hammered. These days I'm able to make a lot more progress with things I set my mind to, though I still never feel good enough at anything for it to be real. I still don't really know what I'm about.

Substances feel like the only way to deal with the pain sometimes, but there are other ways. Giving up alcohol was incredibly hard, and it took me a long time to really see the benefit. I can now say that sobriety has improved my sense of self because I can actually do things now. If I want to say I love cooking, I can actually cook without drunkenly chopping off a finger.

I am in no way judging you. I still struggle at times to stay sober. My sobriety doesn't make me any better than anyone else. Do you have any options to get some treatment for the substance abuse?