J,
I didn't react much when you said you were going to be gone for 3 weeks in August. I said I was ok. Well, I hope it's ok for me to be less ok today. I'm afraid to tell you, really. I don't want you to think I'm overly attached to you. I just had a hard time when you left last time for just 10 days, and I'm afraid of this being worse. Also, you're leaving right when my 1-month break from S is "up" and I'll have to decide if I'm ready to try talking to him again... I kind of think I won't be ready... and I'm scared to not have you here while I'm either dealing with the back and forth of deciding or dealing with trying talking to him again or..idk. I'm just sad. I'm scared to both not have you and not have S at the same time. I just hope you're ok w/ me bringing it up tomorrow after not really reacting Friday.