I'm not in a very good place right now. I'm so tired and done with feeling rejected by my freaking husband. There's always some d**n excuse. I keep getting my hopes up only to have them crushed. We had a great take the other day about how things would be better on his off days because he'd be able to sleep in and not be as worried about waking up early. So of course I'm excited about it. I thought finally we have a compromise and I won't bother him as much during his working days to spend alone time with me. Yesterday was great and then today it's like he could give two ishts about my needs or what we talked about. I hinted around all day to just be turned down again and I'm so freaking sick of it. I'm tired of feeling this way. At the end of the day I just feel like crap, I just feel like disappearing. Just not being here anymore. I can't live like this the rest of my life. What's the point? You don't know how bad I just want to take off out the door running. All the bad thoughts in my head won't stop and I'll probably be up all night. Like usual though.