Welcome to PC. I see this is your first post. The first 5 posts go into a moderated hold, all other posts are automatically released and appear as you post.

It certainly sounds like a heartbreaking conundrum since you've established yourselves as a family unit. She could very well be replaying learned dynamics of her own youth with the push/pull of breaking up/making up. Not the healthiest of choice examples for the children.

It's tough to know if waiting it out for her to have an 'aha' moment is in your best interests or not. The fact that she's in therapy is certainly a step for her. Are you also seeing a therapist of your own?

If there's anything about therapy that I do know, is that there are times where processing it all can be overwhelming and emotionally taxing. Does she also utilize a support group? Sometimes it helps hearing about the therapy process and chatting about it from and with others who are going through it. It's like peeling away at an onion. Layers upon layers, as well as, tears.