i think she wants to help but doesnt really know how, like maybe im really bad at describing my symptoms... i have a lot of trouble talking about whats going on with me ..

thats why i sometimes would become obsessed and read and read and study and try to figure stuff out on my own so that i could try to tell them what i thought was happening but they didnt like that i was doing that and it made me feel like i wasn't being heard when all i was trying to do was describe my situation the best way i knew how because i feel like i lack insight and just trying to figure things out...

i see her like once every 3 months, just this last time she wanted to see me again in a couple weeks because i was doing really bad and had quit taking the med because i didnt like the way it was making me feel and it wasnt helping at all... so she put me on effexor and said come back in a couple weeks...

im just scared of falling back into that pit of pain, i dont want to go through it any more, thats why im doing what im doing trying to maintain you know...?

but i feel like i might be going crazy... i just really dont want to hurt any more