Thanks MickeyCheeky,

I dont doubt other people might struggle a lot and not show, but i envy that too. as i said, for better or for worse. as if they had the right to FEEL (good and bad) and i didnt.

and also, there are some things other people objectively HAVE and i dont. no matter how much it cost them, if they were just lucky or how they feel about it. as a matter of fact, they have it and i dont....