View Single Post
 
Old Jul 17, 2017, 05:51 PM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,706
Thanks. Yes, I agree some people might be envy on me when they compare themselves to me and vice versa. My life lacks too much though so itīs difficult to not compare myself to others and thatīs also because I have the capacity to advance in life. But because of my mental health, problems with loneliness Iīm stuck in life and thoughts about others who succeeded, like my T, become frequent.

I donīt really have that many positive things in life if you donīt compare to those in non developed countries and similar. There are always people having it worse than yourself but I think loneliness, unemployment, depression, anxiety is enough to bear.

Living like that also makes it feel even more impossible to reach any goals or to achieve anything meaningful in life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by satsuma View Post
I think maybe another thing that could be helpful to reflect on, as well as what others have already said, is that the feeling of envy or wishing for things to be different is kind of a basic human feeling (unfortunately) and it comes from inside us - I think it's not all that dependent on outside circumstances.

So for example someone else could be thinking: Sarah lives in a city by the sea. She can easily travel from her home to the coast as sit and look out at the sea. I so much wish I could do that, but I have to pay money and go on holiday to somewhere on the coast to be able to do something like that, and I can only afford to do that a couple of times a year if at all.

And on the other hand, someone who lives in your T's neighbourhood and has a house with a balcony looking out onto the sea might be thinking: All the neighbours have much more beautiful gardens compared to mine, but of course they can afford gardeners and I can't, it's embarrassing how there are fewer flowers in my garden, everyone probably notices and thinks that my garden looks ugly and plain.

Just a random example but you see the idea! We always tend to compare ourselves with people we perceive to be slightly above us, and I think that's true for everyone no matter how fortunate or rich we are objectively.

I sometimes feel a bit jealous of a very good friend because she has a supportive family and I don't. But on the other hand, she is slightly envious of my career and that I usually get offers when I apply for new jobs. (Yes, we're good enough friends that we've actually shared that with one another). It helps me to think that we're all different, and it's good to try to be grateful for the positives and try to make the best of everything, because the path of wishing for a different life is kind of never-ending and it can lead us to be unhappy and maybe not notice the positive things in our life.