My kids deserved a mom that was well. I'm going to be just like my mother (paranoid schizophrenic, etc). She did her best but all I really remember of her is her sleeping. Heavy meds she was on. Tried to kill herseld once when I got home from school.
Anyway, I'm 45 and although I had a pretty bad childhood, I knowy.mom did her best. I was always so sympathetic to her.

My kids will remember me that way. She did her best , but it wasn't her fault she was sick. That's why we moved a million times, why mom slept a lot , why mom couldnt ever complete something she starts, why mom never had money to do things, why mom had a lot of trouble following through with things, why she was married 3x, why she had awful credit, why she can only manage to work part time, why she always had menial jobs, why she always had to take so many pills, why she wasn't like other moms , why she wanted so much for herself and us, but just couldn't manage to get it, why she lived in guilt 24/7 (they don't know that now, but they'll figure it out eventually), why she couldn't cut living alone and ended up moving back in with dad (who she divorced in 2003) and lives in the basement bc living alone is too hard and costs too much.

Most of their classmates will have done memories of their mom. Maybe their mom went to college and has a great job. Their mom loves herself and her life.

My kids didn't deserve to be saddled with all this hell. Just like I didn't deserve it. I deserved a normal mom too, ut I didn't get it

Please don't feel compelled to reply. This was just a huge vent. It helps to know that most people here can completely relate to my situation.

I have always had great plans for myself. College, great career, healthy, fit, lots of hobbies and friends.

I have none of it. I'm 46..too late to get started in college and start some kind of career.

Is anyone else jealous and sometimes bitter bc you see so many ppl you went to school with leading fabulous lives. Great career, great house, kids, vacations, pampering f, awesome cars, etc. How did they do it? I guess I knew how to, I just couldn't do it