RoboT,

I just had a thought. What will sessions be like after you come back from vacation? I don't know that they can be the same as before. I laid everything out for you in our last session. I was talking to a friend about it last week. To feel that level of rejection and abandonment must mean that I have a deep attachment to you. Sure, it's just a conduit for the feelings I have toward my parents, but it's still a feeling that I feel toward you. This has to be different, because I've never felt feelings like this before. There's a modicum of shame, but mostly it overwhelms me. I'm engulfed in feelings of love toward you.

Part of me doesn't want to go back, but I know that's not an option. Me quitting, running away from my feelings, just perpetuates the patterns I have with other people in my life. But can I trust myself to open up in the same ways I have? I felt so vulnerable in our last session. I don't know that I ever want to feel that way again.

12 days to go. It's really not that far away now. I've managed well. Better than I thought I could. Maybe you're right. Maybe I am a decently functional human being.

Daisy