My life has been in a rapidly increasing decline since I was 25 years old; severe bouts of depression started that year. When I was 26 I was completely derailed by what I can only describe as a five alarm fire that was fueled by immeasurable and simultaneous anxiety, depression, and hypomania.

I'm now 32, about to be 33, years old. I've had multiple jobs going back to my early 20s. A lot of those consisted of administrative and basic accounting duties; usually autonomous. I have a BS in statistics; I almost completed an MS in statistics but had to drop out due to lost financing because of my declining health. That education would be great considering there are so many data-driven career options these days. However, due to issues with my memory, I pretty much remember nothing from my job experience or my statistics education, which really sucks because I put a *****-ton of work into my education.

I'm now living at my mom's with no job prospects and massive student-loan debt. Since I was 26 all of my family members have helped me out in some fashion. Now, I don't want to ask for their help again because it seems like I'm a bad investment.

I've been denied SSDI every time I've applied, even with the assistance of a lawyer.

I look at myself and where I am in my life and I am totally unrecognizable. It's as though I've fallen into an abyss and I have no way of climbing out.

I suppose that I should be happy that I'm not homeless.

I do wish I could forget who I used to be.