Hi Tisha,

In my view, BPD is a catch-all diagnosis therapists currently use for unregulated feelings that they don't know how to help people with, except to "prescribe" DBT.

I was never diagnosed with BPD. I had something BPD-ish "underneath" or compartmentalized from an over-controlled "outside" personality. Then when I followed what I understood to be therapists' "expert" instruction (which is what an overcontrolled, outwardly compliant personality would do, wouldn't you expect?), to get in touch with my feelings, that's why emerged.

So, DBT was a waste of time and money for me. I already had "coping skills". Just cut the feelings off and rationally decide what was required! Except -- that led to personal unfilfillment and misery.

So -- sounds like you have your feelings, all right. That's good!

I like unaluna's idea -- what you need is a coach. (We know you didn't have a good role model in your mom.) But one with a psychological background, not just a simple certification (or none) like some have these days. I think I needed one, too, and didn't find it. Didn't know that's what I needed either, when I was looking on all my "symptoms" as something to be "treated". BUT I wonder if there isn't a therapist or someone out there who might be able to understand that and, if so, help. Even if that isn't a currently common treatment model.

I agree with rainbow, too, about your ex-T. Really useless piece of "analysis". I don't see how she expected you to "use" that to help yourself in any way. I agree that in this case the comment has no useful content and you don't need to pay any attention to it, except to recognize it as the sort of thing you don't want in another T. (Easy to say, hard to do, I know.)