I guess I should have added that me and my mom's favourite game is "lets not talk about anything." We use to get in huge screaming fights at each other, and then wake up the next day like nothing ever happened. She also cheated on my dad before they were separated, and she knows I know, but it's considered "taboo" to talk about it. So really, I don't think i could talk to her ... I'd end up crying, she'd end up crying, and it would be horribly awkward, and i doubt it would resolve anything .. it would probably only make matters worse.

And I know, if i ever hope to have some resemblance of a normal relationship with her, I need to talk with her ... but i just can't. I honestly can't.

It's just really weird because I see both sides of the story ... my aunt (mom's sister) has similar problems with her daughter, and confides in me. So I can understand how a mother must be feeling, but i also understand how i'm feeling ... and both just seem so incompatible.

Thank you for your kind response Sunrise ... i can feel your love for your daughter through here.

I have so much love in me, but i'm so scared to do anything about my relationship with her ... and as a result, i'm always looking for that "mother" figure elsewhere, only i get hurt. Too many times i've been hurt ...