ebonileigh, I am so sorry that you have suffered so much as a mother and caregiver. There is only so much we can do without burning out. You describe some feelings that sound like you could use some self care and self forgiveness. You did all you could. Humans only can do so much. You sound like you made a valiant effort and just need to step back and take care of yourself now.

If you are open to reading articles that might have suggestions for you, here are a few articles on this site

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-for-yourself/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-with-burnout/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/archiv...-with-burnout/

https://psychcentral.com/news/2011/0...ers/26352.html

Feel free to reply and or pm me.