I have a job, and I'm lucky. I am successful enough and have never had problems at work.

I have been fighting depression everyday for the past 8-10 years at least. It's relentless, I have very little hope.

Lately I've been focusing exclusively on other people's problems. Sometimes I feel bad because I can't do more for other people, but other times I feel happy to be able to do whatever help I can for them.

But when I think about myself, and my future, my mind just says "no". It's almost like I've worried so much about myself in the past with no improvements that I don't have any hope left.

Here's the thing, when I am talking to my friends, I can think about them, but it's not possible for me to talk to my friends all the time. When I am alone, I sit here feeling uncomfortable because I remember that my life also needs fixing and I should have goals too.

Hope someone understands. Thank you all.