Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend
I've never journaled the traditional way with a notebook and paper because I'm not fond of writing without a keyboard or typewriter even.
My journaling "alternatives" were a bit unhealthy.
Back in my high school/young adult days, for example, I had a replica Death Note (for those who may not know, Death Note is an anime about a kid genius who finds a supernatural Death Note that can kill anybody who's name's written on it so he uses the Death Note to kill all the criminals to make a perfect world), only my Death Note replica was used to write the name of every single person who caused me any type of pain, from bullies to girls who rejected me. I had to stop doing it because I found myself wishing that I really could kill all of these people along with every child abuser and rapist in the world.
I also tried keeping a digital journal but doing so only reinforced my negative thinking because I would feel compelled to vent and talk about unhealthy things, especially when I'm hurting.
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What you wrote is understandable. Most people do want to lash out and hurt those that have hurt them. But you wrote on paper and didn't act on it. A show of tremendous strength, but more important is that you realized it was not healthy for you to harbor hate in this way to where it could have manifested into something really bad. You have got to recognize how big that was. Teen years can be some horrible years anyway, with all the changes our body goes through, we are part kid and part adult, it can be heavy burden just from that. Then when you add trauma on top of that is truly can be horrible.
I'm 58 years old and still wish child abusers would spontaneously combust. Or people who abuse the elderly or animals. But wishing that and acting on that are two different things. I do believe in Karma and those bad people will get theirs one day. I may not know anything about but it will come to them. And I find some comfort in that.
I've journal ed online, in fact there's some sites that are set up for journaling. Password protected. I too would rather keyboard to correct my mistakes, spellcheck, etc. Plus I've had surgery on both hands so holding a pen or pencil for very long makes my hand hurt. Thanks for sharing.
