[QUOTE=Crook32;5734891]When I see my pdoc next week I am telling him I want a total med wash. Then if I do choose to start meds again they will be weight losers or I won't take them. I am tired of all this weight I carry from the meds I have been on over the years.

If I am going to be ****ed up anyways I might as well not be 50 pounds over weight.

I am sick of meds. I am sick of being crazy. All I think about throughout the day are ways to kill myself. It

Hi there. I feel what you are saying. My meds also made me gain 50 pounds but the way I see it, I'd rather gain the weight instead of live in pure misery. Perhaps you are not on the right medications because if you were you would see how someone with bipolar really needs to be on medication, but of course the right ones. I've been like a guinna pig myself and have been on so many medications for bipolar. What is helping me now is Risperdone. It has done wonders for me and got me out of a severe depression where i ended up hospitalized last year for. So good luck to you and I hope you find what will make you happy and want to live.