When I first started meeting with my counselor, the first appointment was me and my two boys. They went with me to talk about how bad our family environment was with my husband. There were some silent tears then when I realized I had to do something. My counselor didn't see them.

That was about 4 years ago, I think.

I want there to be tears, but they won't come. I feel them but something steps in and covers them and they are gone.

We have talked about what it would be like if I did cry in front of him. I have no doubt that he would be caring and show compassion.

We actually had that talk this past appointment. I wanted to cry. I think it would have felt freeing in some way.

Thank you for starting this thread! It has helped me sort out some feelings.