Hello Luz,

The needs for sexual desire is usually normal at your age. About the feeling of wanting but fighting back not to engage with men. I think that you are not yet ready to get preggy and afraid to have an early engagement for being locked in marriage life.
Looking for some alternative ways drive your sexual desire like buying sex toys for women i think it is okay, I'm not saying that it is really good but for a the mean time you are not yet ready on engagement this is a good way to suppress your orgasm.

I also encourage you to join discussion like chat and learn more about men, ask them an interview, interrogate or what ever makes you feel right to ask. That way you will feel comfortable with us and maybe in some future, you will find the true color of sexual intercourse with the real thing.