Hi there,
I have struggled with an eating disorder (Anorexia) and body image distortion for quite some time now, and I am despartely in need of some support. I am so scared of gaining weight, afraid that if I don't live up to my minds expectations of myself- I will not be happy. I am scared to look at myself in the mirror in fear that I might find parts of my body looking different than it did the night before because of what I ate that day/night. I associate eating less = more will power and success=which will lead me to achieving my goal of maintaining the ideal weight/body shape I have and want. One of my biggest issues right now is being very busy at work, and eating very little throughout the day (due to lack of time), and so when I get home I am really hungry and usually tend to eat more than what I had during the day. Having more of an empty stomach when I get home makes me want to eat an extra portion - creating fear and anxiety that I overstuffed my body and now my body is going to hold it all in as extra weight bc it was not used to having that much food in my stomach. I just create all this fear for myself when I am not sure if it is necessary---I don't even know what is normal anymore.