The session ended up spinning off in a different direction than I had expected, but that is OK. I showed R the piece of writing I did on Tuesday. Made me smile when she said ‘I’m sensing you’ve written something.’ I managed to read the piece aloud this time, and she said it was powerful. Then I wanted to start talking about September 2007.

In contrast to last time, I couldn’t even get the phrase ‘We nearly lost her three times in the back of the ambulance’ out. R picked up on my frustration and asked me to explain a bit more about what is going on inside my head. I described it as similar to a cloud coming over.


R can see how much I want and need to get this out, and yet it is beyond hard for me to go there. Next time I am in that space where it has the upper hand, she has asked me to try and write or draw something to help her understand what is going on.
I told her that this is the first time I have talked with somebody who really wants to know what this is like and isn’t as scared as I am.


‘So, that is a new dynamic for you. You described it earlier as being like shrapnel, so it is almost like you want to give me a guided tour...Sorry, I’m making it sound like a holiday. Not good of me to make a joke.’
I heartily appreciated the laugh. We will meet again on Tuesday at 11:00.