I find myself using drinking as a coping mechanism very often. I do not consider myself an alcoholic because I don't need to drink, I can also self harm or "cope" in other bad ways, but drinking helps me cope without the direct self harm consequences.

Also, drinking makes me feel much better than self harming

I am worried though, because I don't want to end up with a liver problem.

I don't always drink more than the recommended, but I drink too much in one go, which isn't good either. Some weeks I do drink more than recommended, but then I have some clean weeks after to make up for it

I am worried I will end up an alcoholic though

I wish I could get better or die before that happens, this isn't working for me