i've been this place, where i'd drink to numb, not get drunk, just to desensitise. it's a habit you should try to steer clear of, as with alcohol dependency will come more issues, i've not had a drink for 18-20 months and feel much better for it, for sure i still think about alcohol on a regular basis but feel much more in control of it instead of it controlling me.
as with @scaredandconfused has mentioned list good coping techniques, and see if there are any you thing you could try before turning to the alcohol. don't try once and give up, they need to be tried on a regular basis,
all the best