I've been seeing my T for a year now. I'm in an emotionally abusive marriage that's been escalating recently into verbal threats of killing me and physical abuse. I send him emails probably more than I should, but right now I feel very dependent and attached to him. Some of the emails that I've been sending recently have been about the threats and violence and he's said that they make him anxious because when he reads them the next morning he doesn't know if I'm ok. He thinks that I should be calling a DV hotline when these things are going on instead of emailing him. He also said he can't provide an on call service to me.

I honestly don't think that I was asking him to be on call 24/7 with me. It just makes me feel better to send an email to him when this stuff happens even if I know that he's not going to read it until the next day. He said that he wants to know what's going on and that if I want I can send a summary email before our sessions. I think I get what he's saying, but it feels like he doesn't want to be so involved in my daily drama. I'm feeling kind of abandoned right now. I want to just do what he wants me to do, but I feel better when I email him. It's like venting a release valve. But I don't want to cause him anxiety. I also don't want to tell a stranger these things, I want to tell him.

I feel like maybe I've allowed myself to become too dependent on him. I've been going twice a week, three times a week sometimes when I need it. Should I cut back to once a week and try to not depend on him for support so much? I don't know what to do. We meet again in a few hours and I don't know what to say to him. I've felt my depression spiraling down since we had this conversation yesterday. I don't want to make him feel bad or make him think I'm trying to manipulate him, but I'm really wondering what the point of anything is today. My husband always tells me I'm a fool if I think any of these therapists care about me. I had started to think he did really care because he says he does, but now I don't know. I'm just so depressed and confused right now.