Your friend isn't the reason you are miserable. You have a good start at getting it figured out. Your perceptions of being not wanted are created in your mind; I think you are the one saying this, not others. This and feeling comfortable opening up are things that can be helped with psychotherapy, and particularly psychodynamic psychotherapy which is about 'being' rather than 'doing'.

It is hard to risk opening up when you're convinced others dont want you around or will judge or abandon you for who you are. It does make a person miserable to not be able to just Be. To be who we are with ease and comfort. You can , with help learn to open up and take initiative. You did just that by posting your thoughts here!

You have good insight and it sounds like you want to feel better. That's a great start!