Hi, I feel defeated and a waste of air. For the life of me I can't hold down a job because of my anxiety. I used to be a Kindergarten teacher and I walked away from it because I was so depressed and anxious. I've tried twice to work for non profits and the anxiety gets to be too much and I quit that after 2 months.

I have over 10 years of experience working with children. The only job I've been able to hold down without any anxiety is as an on call part time nanny yet it's been real slow and I haven't worked for almost a month.

I'm a smart woman but at this point I have no idea what I'm capable of doing to make ends meet. If it weren't for my parents I would be out on the street. I don't know what to do.

I feel like a total loser. Sometimes I just want to give up. I've thought more than once of just sitting in the car with the engine on in the garage. It would break my family's hearts but at least I wouldn't be a burden.

As I write this, the waterworks have begun. I use to be so strong and fearless what happened to me??

I have a loving boyfriend who accepts me and the mess that I am. I am training for my 1st marathon and somehow finding the energy to run 4 times a week. I want better for myself, but I am my worse enemy. I don't know what I want to do with my life. But everything I seem to try I am defeated by my anxiety.

Help!