I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. Anxiety is definitely not for the faint of heart. Do you take medication or go to therapy for it? Do you have coping techniques you can use? Hold your head high. This is one area of your life where you are having trouble. You're training for a marathon and it sounds like you have a successful relationship with your boyfriend. Your family loves you and you are not a burden. It would be beneficial to get to the roots of your anxiety in therapy and definitely try medication. I wish you peace and healing.