Ok, so I don't want to actually start working this morning so instead I took some time to investigate your problem (thanks for the distraction, by the way). I felt compelled to do this because you seem so much like me as a teen.

I followed the link to your myspace page and here's my thoughts:

1. It looks like you have lots of friends and based on the comments posted, you know lots of these people in real life. And they seem to really dig you. So it sounds like you feel alone in a crowd. It's important to realize that this isn't necessarily real, it's just how our moods color our reality.

2. You have lots of pictures posted. Enough that I can say, you are absolutely beautiful. Now, I'm 32 and you're much younger than that so I feel odd saying this but it's true, you're beautiful. Many people I know wish they looked like you. And actually, you look like a lot of the girls I dated when I was young. Now for the all important "but" statement. I've always felt like I'm repulsive, like I'm an alien or a mutant of some kind. Again, not reality, just feelings. If you're seeing a therapist, this is a great topic of conversation.

3. Fear. And by that I assume you're not talking about the band fronted by Lee Ving. Since you didn't elaborate, I'm thinking something along the lines of a general anxiety problem? If so, see therapist.

4. What's the point? You deserve to be happy and to make healthy choices.

5. Ooops, I missed single. While being single sucks, don't worry, it wont last.

6. You push people away? Maybe. I mean, you dress like a rebel (kudos, by the way) and with that comes a certain moodiness and attitude, I would assume. But I have a feeling you're talking about something a little deeper than that. You, maybe, crave a relationship deeper than the ones currently in your life. If that's the case, I'd say be patient. When the right people come along, opening up will just happen. If that proves not to be the case, a therapist can help you with that.

So, those are my thoughts and they are heavily colored by my memories of being a punk rock teen. I hope they are useful to you but if not, ignore them. They are one guys opinions and I don't really know you.

Good luck!

Cyran0