I had to leave the job because i made two more c$/k ups. They were serious. I popped the wrong box when giving medication. It started from right to left. Morning started on lright hand side and i, since with english speakers read left to right so i was in auto pilot and started on left and gave night time pills in morning. I also gave someone an extra diazepam and the women went loopy! She went oh no i dont want to go back into the hospital and deal with the nurses. So when i phoned office staff a new woman forgot to cover the phone receiver and i overheard her saying " is she still working here i thought we were getting rid of her" and the penny dropped. So i wrote a letter of resignation and my bubble of denial well and truly burst.
Why do i keep messing up? No matter how much i say to myself i will pay attention and do everything according to the book, i get carried away every time. It is time i broke this cycle. I am tired of being a failure. To date i have lost four jobs, but only two technically. With one i was offered a different position and held onto it and this last one i quit just before i was sacked. I think someone felt sorry for me. I made mistakes but my personal life was absolute disaster putting me under so much stress. I started taking risks and i was whisker away from a head on collision with a another car while i drove to my first client in countryside.
So i am done with looking for work for while and going to put my energy into studying and i will be my own boss. I want to make it right. I have been goign against the grain. By ths i mean i havent been working to my strengths. I thought i could adapt to anything if i tried hard enough but i am not suited to extrovert roles like retail and sales and caring for elderly . I had learn the hard way.
It just plagued my mind this last week that it was possibe that i may have been the reason this man got pneumonia from the wet sheets.
Nil by mouth