Thanks everybody, it's good to get feedback on what could be a volatile subject, at least that has been my experience. Too bad a doctor doesn't join in these posts.

My reaction to antidepressants may be more common than we think.
I took them because I was under a lot of stress in my marriage and I had also returned to school as an adult. Being as old as their parents did not make me a lot of friends. I was lonely, poor, and my self-worth was at an all-time low. I did find a good therapist at the school, most important there was no money necessary. That is when I decided that the AD's were making me feel so different that I scarcely recognized myself.

I have done all the wrong things to self-medicate for depression. Alcohol was my main friend. For some crazy reason, and admittedly I was not in a position to know, alcohol made me feel normal and confident. So when depression emerged, I used it as a medicine, and it did work until I sobered up the next day. My drinking was not constant, just when I felt it was doing some good. It is indeed cunning that way. Thirteen lucky years ago I quit drinking. Other than my manic episodes on AD's and/or alcohol, I've been pretty good. And I include my descent into the black hole in that category, because I have found that with patience and simple measures, things will lighten up.