That's what has been described to me.

I can go from the most loving person who would do anything for anyone to the coldest most heartless person in a couple's seconds. I can be happy and feel everything to feeling angry/hateful and feeling absolutely nothing. Which believe me, has made relationships difficult. When you know you're in love because you've felt it before but then it's like when you feel nothing it can get destructive very quickly, I can be okay (never honestly been content with my life except when I would travel or move around), but I can be 'okay' with my life and the next minute I hate every single detail of it and wondering why I didn't make more of myself. I'm never in silence. I'm always thinking, overthinking, and basically coming up with scenarios that are either not likely or not actually going to happen. I also have this weird thing where everything feels temporary, nothing feels permanent places I've lived, jobs, relationships etc. I always expect things to end, but the moment something wants to become permanent I panic and try to push it all away.

I don't like this. I don't like myself sometimes. I can say some things that I know cut people deep without realizing that I noticed it bothered them or that I held on to those types of information.

[emoji20]