Quote:
Originally Posted by Frankbtl
Hi Sapphire
The man would not have got pneumonia from you forgetting to fit the continence pad 
It was not your fault
And the messing up- although I'd be saying making mistakes- do you think that could be largely due to the stress in your personal life??
Sure people say that you need to treat work as separate from your personal life..........but that can be a whole lot easier said than done sometimes!!
And when you have real difficulties in your personal life, as you said you had, then it can be unavoidable in that it's going to have an impact on you in a lot of other areas of your life inc. at work.
So perhaps none of this is about any "incompetence" on your part but much more about stuff you've been going through and maybe stresses of work adding to that??
And hey, if you want to talk about some of the stuff in your personal life...........
But otherwise I would say that yes, you may have been giving peoples opinions a little more (a lot more!!) thought/credit than they deserve as in your father's, the coach's, the girl from your previous job's.........just because it's someone's opinion doesn't mean there has to be a chance that they are right, or even that you need to prove anything to them.........if they're not supportive/if they are negative then.........
And this: " I have been goign against the grain. By ths i mean i havent been working to my strengths"
Absolutely!!! Do what feels right for you!!! You are going to have strengths, just as everyone has strengths and weaknesses!!! Nevermind what anyone says or the "Should"'s that may come to mind, keep on working on what might be right for you and what you want.........in both your work and your personal life
Alison |
My personal life was derailed when i was 18 and first got ill. I left that job at 24 about same time i left my fiance. I was living a lie, and he did nothing for my self esteem. I felt trapped but i found strength to finish it. We were together six years. Because i had been ill the power dynamics were unbalanced when we started dating when i was 18.
He made me (coerced me) into believing that i owed him for sticking around when many did not. I had a couple of pals i went to pub with but he was only person i could talk to so i put up with his jibes and possessive attitude. It was like so many other erratic pairings, it wasnt all bad. Everyone thought we belonged together.
Its so hard to sum things up without writing a novel! But years down the line i difted apart from school friends and never made new ones. And i hadnt forgave my parents. I was lonely and lost.
I did some atrocities while i was ill. I decided i had to move away as i had nothing left in my hometown. I couldnt hide i had been in psych ward from employers. I doubted i was capable of college any more, thought my ship had sailed.
Once i left my fiance, i moved in with family. I had no social life and lied to people at work and i hated myself for being such a loser. I helped care for my deteriorating reative and all i got was flak. I made a plan for moving away - i would look for a private student letting and apply for university.
My mental state was hanging by a thread. I was hanging by a thread. Working full time, looking after frail relative, went tp gym to keep up appearances and i had my own project going as i wanted to write a novel on schozophrenia or bi polar showing people the truth. I was more interested in being "a something" ( a nurse, a teacher, a writer ) that i didnt realise that what i needed was a friend.
So i went through a second breakdown as i stopped my meds. In hospital i was encouraged to apply for my own tenancy and " be young again"
So began my five year journey of self discovery, treatment, being down and out, and here i am 29.