NP complete, this sounds horrific. But you're doing so well. I think you should keep posting here, watch a film, take a bath ... sorry if these sound like stupid ideas, but do whatever you need to do to make it through to Monday.
At the point at which your H has set your house on fire and been arrested, I think in the long term you are going to need to seek support and advice from people who specialise in domestic violence. Maybe you can discuss that again with T at some point. But no need to worry about it right now.

Wishing you all the best.