thanks guys...it always helps to raise my spirits a little when I read your caring replies...I tried so hard to talk to somebody irl last night...one was asleep...the other had to wrap presents...hmph. So I took tylenol pm and passed out for 12 hrs. I have this senior book thing that everyone is signing before I move across the country for college...they write goodbye notes to me and say things about our friendship and such...and it seems like the people I'm closest to are basically writing "it was nice knowing you...buh bye now" and the people I don't care about are like "good luck there I am SO proud of you I will miss you so much and I hope I can come visit you!"

I am being pushed away when I most need it...and I don't understand why. I'm still here! Don't they see me?! I am still here for 8 more months..that's a long time...why are they trying to free themselves of me right now??