Hi, i am a 26 year old female, i am a Doctor by profession and i want to share something with you all.
i have just completed my one year internship training and now i am preparing for my residency exam which is due in September, hopefully after which i will start my residency in internal medicine. i am happy and contended for what i have done and what i have achieved so far. i did my medical education while doing a part time job side by side and i was dealing with immense pressure and stress but i am proud that i did it in one go never failed and i did my internship too. i love what i do, but i don't know why i have this empty feeling inside of me. i feel so alone, so so overwhelmed. probably it is my studies abd the immense syllabus that i have to learn it all and mug up, which i am not able to do it very well, i know i should know how to pass these exams but i want to ace them in order to guarantee myself a good residency job..
or probably its because that i am single. i dont have a good self-esteem and self-acceptance of who i am and how i look. i am a very average looking girl, brown skin fat buck-toothed wavy hair, so my image is nowhere near any decent looking girl's image and probably thats why i dont get marriage offers when in my part of the world girls get married by 23 24 anything 25+ and they are considered menopausal, and when i see all of my friends, most of them are engaged or married, i feel so alone. like its a long dark road and i am standing in their alone with no one by my side..i don't know if ill ever get married or find the one who is there for me.. i have found peace with the fact that i can live on my own..its just heaviness in my chest that i am unable to address to and get away with. i don't want it. i dont want to feel unloved because i have such a loving family my 3 sisters my mother my father they are all so loving and supporting my mother is like my best friend i love them all so much.. i dont know how to fight it off..i dont want to feel blue again..