I know how you feel I honestly do I couldn't even keep the girl that I was with.
I had a girl and it was going great for an online relationship we were loving through and through.But my flaw is that I was a very angry man and she had depression and we knew how to push each other's buttons. But her she was the devil incarnate she got jealous on a daily basis I couldn't even go see my family and kids she would get mad at me even for going to groceries she'd time me she brought a friend into it and she started to change she started to attack me and so did her friend soon I left her found all she wanted was my money according to her friend so I bailed she wasn't attractive to me anymore.
Her friend got mad cause I yelled at her cause she started doing what my ex-did and Started to manipulate me she called my yelling at her abuse and she left
I met a new girl and she was kind of paranoid of me we dated for a year and then it stopped totally her mom loved me she didn't like me cause I was making her get out of the paranoia state to move on with her life she told me that her mom hated me cause I had mental problems and I knew that was a lie I let her go.
I met another woman now we had a fight .... wait no she had the fight I stood there and took it with a grain of salt. But she refused to talk to me. so I left it on that and moved on.
I met another person a girl that wants to be a guy we hung out and drew on our computers together. But then he started to lie and I knew they were lies cause I knew him for 5 years he told me he was 14 when he met me it was only 5-6 years since I saw him last and he told me he was 25 and since he's 25 I can be with him since I'm 37 and I did the math and knew that he was only 18-19 years old and then he continued to tell me that he was on a plane and a bomb went off and he saw people sucked out the plane and people exploding. I knew that was a lie I asked him about it and then he told me he was in the airport its funny how everyone had shrapnel scars that were in the building even the ones not close to the bombs and he didn't I looked it up all the survivors had sores and scars, I thought I'm not going to get the truth so I ignored that he said I was lying about my gender and that he can't stay with me anyway cause he wants to be selfish but I later found out that my exes friend had contacted him and told him I abused her and then he started to tell everyone on my list that he had on his list that he dated me ( he was never on) and had cyber(never did) with me and that I was a faker he also let his mom log in on his skype on her phone to watch our convos.

SO the other girl I mentioned earlier that stopped talking to me contacts me and asks me about what he typed to her on email, I remembered I still had the liars BF on my computer and asked him about the little jerk he said that he was still with him and I realized I was just a guy with a shoulder to cry on when convenient

Now I and the girl who said she wasn't talking to me are back together I understand whats going on in your life and every other bad relationship LOL
But I'm very angry and depressed and they who once seemed attractive to me they are not anymore and that the problem is that the angrier we get at some one the less they start to look less like super models and more like devils with horns
I express my anger in intense quiet or seething. When I'm angry I prefer to be alone Listening to music helps. don't punish yourself, Honey, it doesn't help it just wracks up anger and depression more than it has from my experience I grew as a person. take it as a learning experience never blame yourself Its the worst you can do