Art - I, of course, could be wrong - but it appears to me - from the outside and just from my interpretation - that you often have strong feelings but immediately-ish act on them or try to distract from them. Do you ever have them and just sit with them - not doing anything? Just feeling them and then going on? They seem to buffet you around a lot.
I am probably not explaining this well.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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