Quote:
Originally Posted by Pennster
Ah, it sounds like you are misunderstanding what I said about how my therapy is about figuring out what I can do to build up my resources to help myself. It has nothing to do worth being a child - I'm an adult, obviously. But I suffered childhood trauma and early bereavement, and I have carried so much grief through my life - I just didn't know how to cope with it, and I tended to shut down a lot when things got stressful. Figuring out ways to take care of myself instead of collapsing internally has been so helpful to me.
My therapist doesn't tell me what to do or how to live my life - his modality is non-hierarchical and we are equals in that room. I have no interest in being told what to do either, and I can't even imagine my therapist telling me how to live my life.
Anyway, I get that you are looking for something different from your therapy, which is cool. There seem to be as many reasons for being in therapy as there are people on this board. I just wanted to clarify to make sure I wasn't being misunderstood.
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I find this interesting just because this is EXACTLY where I've just arrived in my therapy.
My T does not talk about transference but about relationship patterns which i definitely believe in I've been experiencing them my entire adult life. I am still repeating my abuse in some ways, whether through relationship with others or myself, and i TRY to do it in therapy but my T reshapes the interaction.
My T DOES offer nurturing etc and do inner child work. But recently after a few revelations and a traumatic experiencing we've reached "how do I prevent the pain still inside me from controlling me or my responses"
How do *I* do it. It's not really teaching, like I'm a child. She knows how to lead me to discover these thibgs but nor what the answers are, ie what works for my unique self. It's not about her somehow taking it all away. It's about me learning to do it so I can always do it with or without her.