I think you are interpreting her without getting her input and it may not be accurate.

I know this is something that is mine which is probably why I keep giving my opinion- I have someone in my life I care about who does this with me a lot -and it drives me crazy and she is 99.9% wrong about it - but in her head she has done all sorts of things and then acts on it and I have no idea what is going on. So I then don't respond the way she has set up in her head and she gets all worked up and does it more and it becomes a mess. Not for me so much - I am more just baffled. But it causes her a great deal of distress that I think could be avoided.