Also, I heard back from my grad advisor. She seemed excited for me and is willing to write the letter. She has two conditions. She wants me to write a draft of what I think would be good for her to say, then she'll edit it. The other is that I won't ask to read what she wrote. I can live with that. I mean, I'd like to think, if someone wouldn't give me a good recommendation, they wouldn't offer to write a letter. So guess I was worried for nothing, as usual...pretty sure this ties into my issues with/fears of female authority figures...